Synaptic Sugar

And so it came to pass that I also received a shiny new Darth Vader (Ep. IV) Force FX Lightsaber for Christmas. The lightsaber is an officially licensed collectible replica of the weapons of choice of Jedis and Siths alike from the Star Wars movies, and I can testify that it’s quite accurate in its design, even if, as stated in the instructions manual that accompanies it, the hilt has been made slightly larger than it is in the movies to accommodate the electronics and battery compartment (see below). This doesn’t make it in any way too heavy or cumbersome, I actually found this particular model (there are others too) surprisingly well-balanced and it didn’t take long before I felt confident enough with it to start swinging it around like I was beheading Tusken raiders left and right. In fact, you can see one of my own action shots above, the capture of which is now a tradition among lightsaber owners.

I mentioned batteries earlier; these lightsabers are, as a matter of fact, equipped with motion sensors and able to play different digital sounds (taken from the movies) when powered up and down and moved around (there’s more than one sound effect for movement), and also feature a steady hum when idle and a clash sound effect played when they hit something and come to an abrupt halt. The polycarbonate blade does not retract in the hilt, but is instead fixed and contains a string of 64 ultra-bright LEDs that light up in sequence when the lightsaber is powered up, projecting a light that is in turn skillfully diffused by the blade itself to hide the single LEDs; the result is quite realistic, even more so in the dark, where you can’t see the blade if it’s off and the final effect is that of a blade of light extending from the hilt or retracting towards it. Playing with it is a lot of fun, and the polycarbonate is sturdy enough that you can hit many things without it getting damaged, although dueling is explicitly not recommended and not covered by the warranty.

The only problem I’ve encountered with it so far was a minor one: the battery compartment (this beauty uses 3 AA batteries) was a bit loose, and the metal ring at the end of the hilt that keeps it in place wouldn’t actually hold it firmly enough. This would make the lightsaber turn off and on randomly when swung too hard; I cut a small disc of heavy paper and inserted it between the hilt ring and the battery compartment, so that the extra material would do the trick and fix the issue. It did, and in fact the malfunction is now gone and I went back to slaughtering Banthas. There’s a variety of models to choose from (availability varies), but why settle for Mace Windu’s purple lightsaber (seriously?) when you can have Darth Vader’s red? May the beheading be with you.

As the great Elio used to sing in makeshift English. Merry Christmas to you all, or “Happy Holidays”, as the latest properism seems to prefer.

Don’t throw atomic bombs / because it’s Christmas time.

Here’s a funny video parodying the popular (?) game Wii Fit for the Nintendo Wii gaming console. Enjoy.

Reuters reports news that Chuck Norris is suing publisher Penguin over their book “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World’s Greatest Human”, completely based on the famed Chuck Norris facts that have been circulated over the Internet in every conceivable form for at least two years now, as anyone who has any knowledge of the Internet will readily acknowledge. According to Reuters, the lawsuit alleges that “some of the ‘facts’ in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities” and that “defendants have misappropriated and exploited Mr. Norris’s name and likeness without authorization for their own commercial profit”, seeking monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights. I’ll sum up those two points here again for clarity: some ‘facts’ are inappropriate for publishing or damaging to Norris’s image; Norris’s name and likeness were used without authorization (and he probably gets no money from it).

Some online newspapers, like the Italian Corriere della Sera, were all too eager to poorly and hurriedly translate the Reuters report (compare them) and stick a big sensational title to their own article (”Chuck Norris: ‘only lies in that book’”), stating that Norris said things that aren’t found in the Reuters news, and that “the stupidity [of the published facts] made the actor furious”. Thus, as often happens, reporting the news in a partially wrong way, just wrong enough that the whole meaning of the facts (the real facts in this case, not those about Chuck) is turned upside-down. It’s more sensational, not to mention easier, to report that “the world’s greatest human” became furious about the ‘facts’ that were published in the book, all of them, rather than delve in legal “details”; who among the readers is going to notice the difference anyway? Perhaps somebody who can go straight to the source article used for the translation (although there’s no mention of the source on the Corriere page, as of right now) and knows the Internet a little bit better than some Web journalists at corriere.it.

For the record here’s a funny video of Chuck Norris himself, reading his top ten favorite Chuck Norris facts on television and laughing merrily about the whole thing, which aired more than one year ago.

And people think it never rains in California. Tell that to those who have been drenched the last couple days (me), and who don’t enjoy rain that much. It’s all a big, cloudy, cold puddle.

By the way, congratulations on reaching beyond the first 6000 spam comments! Keep ‘em coming.